sensualists and aural sex — of sorts.

Sexionary

nympho – term often used for a sex-obsessed woman. 

blowjob – fellatio; dick-sucking.

autoerotic asphyxiation – suffocating oneself during masturbation to intensify orgasm.

sex surrogate – a counselor who helps people solve their sexual problems by having sex with them.

smurf – when a man slaps his partner(s) in the face with his dick

paraphilia – sexual obsession, usually with an object or act. See also objectum sexuals and mechaphiles for some VERY interesting paraphilia acticities.

What’ve you got to add?

Thanks to the folks at Sex Dictionary. 

Gender Roles

For some people, checking that little box on applications and some website data forms that ask if you’re “male” or “female” is a taxing experience, for myriad reasons. I tend to be annoyed with the example I just gave, where “male” is always placed as the first option. Some people get frustrated with it because they don’t identify with either gender, consider themselves to have no gender, or possess one gender’s features/voice/mannerisms while feeling and believing quite clearly that they are the opposite gender. There’s all sorts of stuff in between. Our fascination with gender role and expectation in modern society is a deep one. For this blog entry, I’m just going to keep it to sex play. I’ll let Wikipedia do some of the basic  explaining on gender roles.

An interesting article on the issue of gender and gender roles is on Melted Dreams and talks about there being more than one gender, and the differences between “sex” and “gender”. Interesting, intelligent and digestible writing on the topic.

I miss gender roles being challenged more in media. Aside from the stovepipe-legged hipster. No no, not American Apparel-endorsed androgyny… oldschool shit like Grace Jones.

An article that recently irritated the shit out of me was “Why Are Women Leaving Men for Other Women?” from Oprah.com, which I think, if anything, does some work to support the: a) never-ending fantasies of straight men; b) encourages an idea that women are built to be sexually accessible regardless of the person that approaches them; and c) should really — and I don’t care that it’s Oprah.com — look at the whole issue here, and address that men are also sexually dynamic and have breadth and depth to their experience as well. The article suggests a connection with sexuality that is inherent and easily warpable in women.

Bah.

What do you think?

The song this article reminds me of is Berlin’s “Sex”. Don’t know it? Love it? Wanna hear it? Here it goes …

 

Aural Sex – Bonus Reading

I usually only read once from a story. Why not do two, since people have been so happy to check out the first sex vid

Looking forward to your thoughts.

Your friend to the left … 

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Sex Games & Diaries. Yum.

And we’re back. Miss me? Got clean towels?

Let’s go!

First, a sensual wash to the ears, by Rae & Christian, “Not Just Anybody”. Let it play as you read. Iz very nice:

Sex Games

Annabelle’s “Willy Wordsmith” Game from Women in Strange Places: Stories – In the entry “Willy Wordsmith”, Annabelle goes out on a date with a guy named William and they have a very … nice time. This is a fun game William makes up for them to play. Also as a side-note, all of Annabelle’s entries are rooted in sexual truth — I mixed in some of my own experiences with those of my friends and a few strangers — the things you find out about people when you’re writing a book is fucking priceless. Onto the game:

I’m back and it’s late and I’m tingly. I met with William. It was actually quite like a date. We went to the movies to see a documentary about vaudeville and literary burlesque. He told me he was a word fetishist. I didn’t really get what he meant. I like him quite a bit. He’s a few years older than me, wears glasses. In great shape. He has intense eyes that I could just stare at all day. We went back to his apartment to play after the movie. He told me he was going to teach me his favorite game. We got naked and got into bed, got real close, facing each other. I had one hand on his cock, he had one hand between my legs with his fingers barely brushing against my clit. He smelled delicious. Some men’s colognes are witchcraft. He said the object of the game was flattery to the point of orgasm. He’d say a word that he thought described me and if I liked that or thought it was sexy I played with his cock. The opposite went for him. If I said something about him that he liked and thought it was sexy he’d finger me. I’ve never worked so hard to come up with good unconventional words before J We did all this between long kissing sessions. I hope I see him again soon.

iPod Sex Stories – The article is far too cheesily written and but the idea is an interesting one. Download some erotic podcasts into your partner’s iPod, and then tell them that when they are on their way home from work, to listen to the special thing you put on there. If you’re home when your partner’s on the way back home, call them and ask which story they’re listening to. Then say you’re listening to the same one and you’re playing with yourself. They’ll be dying to get home. My twist to it: have them listen to it on the way to work. Keep them happily distracted all day long and can’t wait to get home and bang. To make it even better, record an mp3 and put it after the story with a location at which they should meet you and have sex in an interesting (familiar or unfamiliar place). 

Papers & Lube – Now these sound fun! My fave on this list of 5 are “Forfeit” and “What Is It?”. In “Forfeit”, you: “Bring treats into the bedroom that have small, easy-to-write-with nozzles, like frosting, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream. Write a naughty word on your partner’s body. If they guess the word correctly, they get a small taste of the treat. If they guess wrong, they pay a forfeit by swapping places with you.” In “What Is It?” (which also has potential for some funny fuckin’ outcomes): “Your partner lies down blindfolded. You lubricate different parts of your body — fingers, chin, tip of the nose, nipple, and so on. You then touch your partner in various places. They have to guess which body part it is. If they guess correctly, you perform a sex act with that body part that only pleases them.”

Whips, Chips, Chains and Dips: BDSM Games – For those of you interested in (safely) tipping the powerscales in the bedroom, here’s some stuff onmore  imaginative play. You get a list of tools and ideas and you can have at it with making something up, and you also get some sample games and things to try if you’re drawing a blank. In BDSM communication is more than tantamount. Be very very open with each other and respect one another, even if your scene may involve disrespect or humiliation. There’s some resources on safety and understanding at this other part of the site. BDSM can be tons of fun when done properly, and brings in some very interesting psychological elements. (Yes, I’ve done it before.)  You’ll definitely learn more about yourself and your partner, believe me.

Got sex games? Sex experiences you want to share? Keep it private and let me know what you’re thinking and what you’re doing! Woo! Email me via the pre-made account, wispdistance@gmail.com. Password is distance. My address is womeninstrangeplaces@gmail.com. I’ll post lines of whatever I get throughout the week. Yeehaw.

The Diary

Everyone’s had at least one diary in their lifetime. To some people it’s a life-long friend, to others it’s just something to rant to emptily, and get some feelings or thoughts out. My first diary was pink and had a lock on it and smelled like vinyl and the inside smelled like starchy bleached paper (one day I’ll tell you about my thing with smelling books lol). I used to always turn and twist the lock because I loved the sound of it. The whole thing was very 90’s. Since then, though, I never kept another paper diary, because of the motherfucking God-blessed internet. Between the oldschool (and good) days of Open Diary to my current obsession and usage of LiveJournal, the internet has turned the once sacred, private relationship with the diary into a means for communication and sharing, instead of keeping and hiding. To some this is a good things, to others, not so much. I’m kind of on the fence about it. 

But it all comes down to trust and personal space, as many things do. There are plenty of things all of us want to keep completely and totally private, and others that we’ll gladly reveal, but only to a select few. There’s an interesting angle of encroachment upon personal space and time, what with almost every program now constantly asking you to update your status and state what you’re thinking or doing. It’s fun and all, but some people are ADDICTED to constantly staying in touch and connected. It certainly has it’s merit and value, but honestly, have some you space and you time, and LOTS of it, not a few minutes here and there. 

Some interesting links on why people keep diaries:

* BBC News: Dear Diary, Why Do I Have You? talks about celebrity diaries vs. “normal” people diaries.

* BiblioAddict: Diaries and the People Who Keep Them has some cool notions on the basis of the ego, and the need for recording thoughts and time. This is making me a little existential! I like. 

Real Life Diary

More story form from another loyal reader 🙂 I’m excited for people to send me the real nitty-gritty trash hehe. Enjoy!

His hands cup my face and my arms encircle him as we lead each other to the bed.

Delicate but hungry fingers pull me on top of him, and my jeans slide off one sigh at a time. My hair falls over his face, hungry mouth once again tracing the patters of unnamed constellations across his body. His pelvic bones grinds mercilessly against the oozing warmth my own body can’t hold back, because it wants so much to meet his own.

I slide his black slim jeans off, and to my hungry delight he does not believe in jeans and underwear either. Kisses stream down his body from the corners of his eyes, across his cheek, over beautiful nipples, grazing his ribcage, cross his jutting pelvis bone. Up mirroring each kiss given, back up to frenzied lips. I can feel his teeth moving against the inside of my mouth with furious want. The slightest scrape against overwhelmed blood vessels and we both taste the metallic drip of my life. Yes, I am willing to offer, even this.

I rise up, head titling backwards, mouth partially open, and you will wait no longer. There is no room for long anticipated release, only the overwhelming feeling of being whole. Satisfaction comes in waves of heat permeating the room with the scent of loved mingled with want.

Our eyes never closed again, until we both fell into a deep slumber. I wanted to learn every inch of his body, so our eyes locked and neither of us ever waivered. I began to see the explosions of colors as his pores beat down with sweat. Every push was met by an equally strong gravitational pull, begging to surrender and go deeper.

He moved on top and I screamed, loud and triumphantly as he entered me again. Every muscle is our body was working relentlessly to bring us closer. His soaked hair buried right above my heart, leaving the hungry imprints in shades of brilliant blue. We kissed with mounting want, sweat, saliva and both our blood racing to feed us a love eternal.